Now that we have addressed the influence your thoughts and your beliefs can have on your case, let’s discuss your feelings, which is the final piece of emotional housekeeping we need to attend to before we move on.
In his book Constructive Living, author David K. Reynolds offers advice that will serve you very well as you navigate the legal system. According to Reynolds, “We are responsible for what we do no matter how we feel at the time.”
Feeling bad is the excuse we often use to condone our bad behavior. How many times have you justified your poor behavior because you were in a bad mood? How many times have you allowed the way you feel about a person or a situation to govern how you behave toward them?
We all have been guilty of this at one time or another. But, just because we all do it doesn’t make it right.
Your success inside and outside the courtroom will be directly proportional to the extent to which you allow your feelings to dictate your behavior.
You must be able to do what’s right and what needs to be done even when you don’t feel like doing it.
Yes, your feelings are your constant companions. But, no, they are not your friends. Here are three reasons why.
First: Your feelings of anger will stop you from doing what you know you need to do. Your feelings will cause you to say things you really don’t want to say. Your feelings will keep you stuck in places where you don’t want to be.
Second: Your feelings of doubt will cause you to fire the lawyer you should retain. Your feelings will cause you to retain the lawyer you should fire. Your feelings will cause you to file lawsuits that should never be filed. Your feelings will keep you from settling cases that you need to settle.
Third: Your feelings of fear will cause you to sit down when you need to stand up. They will convince you to crawl when you can walk. They will insist that you walk when you should be running. They will make you run when you are destined to fly.
If you have not read Reynolds book I hope you will do so. I will close with this advice from the book: Feelings are for feeling. They aren’t for explaining, for justifying or for acting out. They are to be noticed, experienced, and accepted while we go about doing what needs doing.
This is an excerpt from Letters to a New Divorce Client. Download a copy below:
Letters to a New Divorce Client
Photo Credit: Visual Hunt