Litigation can be an unpleasant ordeal.
This is true whether you are participating in litigation as a result of a lawsuit you filed against someone or as the result of a lawsuit someone filed against you.
And like all unpleasant ordeals, it can be a spotlight that has the power to illuminate who you really are.
If you are a reasonable person, you will not allow yourself to find escape or seek comfort in false logic and empty rhetoric. Just as you have always done, you will continue to behave rationally and respond appropriately to whatever problems you face during the course of litigation.
If you are a patient person, engaging in litigation will strengthen your patience muscles. Your patience will certainly be tested and you will pass those tests in the same way you have passed tests in the past. You will do whatever it is you always do when you are forced to wait and are faced with what appear to be endless false starts and delays. You will tell yourself whatever it is you need to hear to remain calm and assured while you wait. Because you are a patient person, the waiting will not cause you to lose confidence in your decision or lose trust in those around you.
If you are a fair person, having to file a lawsuit will not dampen your spirit of cooperation. You will not allow negative impressions of the process or the opposing party to blind you to ways to find compromise. No matter how narrow the path becomes you will continue taking the high road and seeking common ground.
However, if you are an angry person, the legal process will provide ample kindling that you can use to fuel your anger. It will offer you endless opportunities to unleash your wrath on people with whom you disagree and chances to spew your venom on people whom you dislike. If you like to fuss you be will able to find sparring partners with whom you can fight.
If you are whiner, the legal process will provide you with infinite reasons to whine, whimper and complain. Whenever you are looking for a reason to feel sorry for yourself, you will find one. When you are looking for something to criticize, you will find one. When you are looking for a reason to cry and pout, the legal system will provide one.
If you are a greedy person, you will use the legal process as your opportunity to get more than your share. Instead of listening to your attorney, your avarice will be your guide. Selfishness will take the place of reason and no matter how much you get it will never be enough.
What will the process disclose about you?
That is impossible to predict. It may affirm what you already know about yourself, or it may reveal new insights. You are not likely to discover that you are “only this” or you are “always that.” You will probably find that you are both this and that. It is possible to be both patient and greedy, or fair on some occasions and unreasonable on others.
What will you do with what you discover?
That is up to you. Unearthing contradictions is one thing; integrating them into your awareness is an entirely different and far more difficult proposition.
This is an excerpt from Letters to a New Divorce Client. Download a copy below:
Letters to a New Divorce Client
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