Once you get a handle on the role your thoughts may play in the outcome of your case, dig a little deeper and wrap your head around this fact: just because you believe something that does not make it true. And just because your friends and family members believe the same things you believe that does not make them true.
The judge is bound by the law, not your beliefs.
Just because you believe your spouse should not be allowed to visit with your children because he doesn’t pay enough child support and he didn’t spend quality time with the children when you all lived together, that does not mean it is true. Again, the judge will make a decision about custody based on the law not what you believe.
Just because you believe your spouse should be forced to move from the marital home because you came up with the money for the down payment and he laid on the couch while you were out working hard to pay the mortgage payment, that does not mean it is true. The judge will make a decision about your home based on the law, not on what you believe.
Just because you believe the judge should only listen to what you have to say because you are a saint and a paragon of integrity and totally ignore everything the opposing party has to say because they are evil and incapable of being truthful, that does not mean it is true. The judge’s job is to listen to what both of you have to say and apply the law accordingly.
Just because you believe your spouse does not deserve one-half of the assets you both acquired during the marriage that does not mean it is true. The judge will make a decision about your assets based on the law, not on what you believe.
Of course, you are entitled to your beliefs. I am in no way trying to change your mind about what you believe. I support your decision to believe whatever you want to believe.
But, here is a promise I can make with absolutely no qualifications or reservations: freeing yourself from the expectation that others (and by “others” I mean the judge and the opposing party) should or will believe the same things you believe, is a decision you will never regret.
This is an excerpt from Letters to a New Divorce Client. Download a copy below:
Letters to a New Divorce Client
Photo Credit: Visual Hunt