Should-ing is not a real word. It is the word I made up to describe the unending stream of self-talk that is comprised primarily of second-guessing, self-condemnation and recrimination. It sounds something like this:
I should have never married him. I should have listened to my mother. I should not have listened to my mother. I should have left him a lot sooner. I should have waited until the kids graduated before leaving. I should have asked for alimony. I should not have asked for alimony.
I should have confronted him sooner about the affair. I should have never confronted him about the affair. I should have lied when he asked me where I was going. I should not have lied when he asked me where I was going. I should have tried harder to make our relationship work.
I should have agreed to go to marital counseling. I should not have agreed to go to marital counseling. I should have spoke up sooner. I should have never said anything. I should have been a better listener. I should have been a better wife. I should have been a better mother. I should have been a better house-keeper. I should have been a better lover. I should have hired a different lawyer.
I should have fired my lawyer. I should have settled my case before going to court. I should not have settled my case before going to court. I should have lied on the witness stand. I should not have lied on the witness stand…
What is done is done.
There is no point in wasting time on what you should or should not have done before, during or after your marriage ended. Take a giant step forward in your quest to move on by deleting the word should from your vocabulary.
This is an excerpt from What to Divorce When You are Divorcing Download a copy below:
What to Divorce When You are Divorcing
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