What to Divorce When You Are Divorcing: Anger

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. – Buddha  If you get burned enough times you will eventually become consumed by the flames.  And you know what happens next?   Your dreams, your relationships and everything that matters to you will turn to ashes.

He who angers you conquers you. – Elizabeth Kenny 
Whenever you allow your ex/spouse to piss you off to the point that you can no longer contain your temper or control your behavior then the game is over and you might as well sit back and watch him run his victory lap.

For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness.  – Author Unknown
Life is short.   When you are healthy and in the prime of your life sixty-seconds of happiness may seem like a small price to pay for a minute of outrage.  At the end of your life, when you are on your deathbed imagine what you would be willing to pay to regain the minute of happiness you wasted being angry at your ex/spouse.

Anger is one letter short of danger.  – Author Unknown
The prison system is filled with inmates serving life sentences for murdering someone they didn’t initially intend to kill.  First, they get angry and lose control of their temper.  And then they stab, shoot or run their victim over with a car.

Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, they rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.  – Lemony Snicket
This quote should come with this disclaimer.  Tantrums are not only fun but they can work if your goal is to convince your mommy to let you have ice cream for dinner or stay up past your bedtime.   However, tantrums will have absolutely no impact on your ex/spouse’s behavior.

You don’t have to attend every argument you are invited to.  – Author Unknown 
In other words you don’t have to respond every time your ex/spouse does something to provoke you. I once represented a woman who was arrested for getting into an altercation with her ex at their son’s school conference.

When I asked her why she threw a stapler at her ex she said, “he started the fight when he falsely accused me of neglecting my son.”   Her ex may have started the fight but for her son’s sake she should have ended it by ignoring him.

The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk.  – Jacqueline Schiff 
The shorter your temper, the longer you may need to walk.   And if you suffer from frequent outbursts as in every time you and your ex/spouse cross paths, then as a preventive measure you may want to incorporate a long walk into your daily routine.        

There are two things a person should never be angry at, what they can help, and what they cannot.  – Plato
Channel your anger into fixing the things you can help and moving beyond the things you cannot.

This is an excerpt from What to Divorce When You are Divorcing.  Download a copy below:
What to Divorce When You are Divorcing

Photo Credit:  Visual Hunt

 

 

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