1 – Stop blaming yourself for everything that went wrong.
2 – Stop blaming your spouse for everything that went wrong.
3 – Talk with your spouse about the possibility of saving your marriage. If you believe your marriage is worth saving, then do what you can to save it.
4 – Promise to never saying anything negative about your spouse in the presence of your children.
5 – Commit to moving on. There is no point in getting divorced if you are going to remain emotionally attached to your spouse.
6 – Try to learn what your marriage taught you about yourself.
7 – Remember the good times.
8 – Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You are not the first person to get divorced nor will you be the last. And as bad as your situation may be, it could be a lot worse.
9 – Write your happy ending. Divorce is not the end of your story. Pull out a piece of paper and write a paragraph or two that details how you would like your story to end. Refer to it whenever you need encouraging.
10 – Forgive yourself.
11 – Forgive your spouse.
12 – Seek professional counseling if you need it.
13 – Seek spiritual counseling if you believe it will help.
14 – Give yourself permission to be happy now.
15 – Practice managing your negative “self-talk.” The minute the little voice in your head starts spewing negativity tell it to “shut up!”
16 – Recognize that divorce will not solve all your problems.
17 – Take responsibility for your life.
18 – Stop worrying about what other people are going to say.
19 – Practice asking for help.
20 – Stop telling everyone your sad story. Repeating the painful details of your marriage will make it difficult for your wounds to heal.
Photo Credit: Leo Reynolds by Visual Hunt